Less Guatemala More Christianity

Hey everybody! It has been awhile since I typed and because it is so very close to the half way mark, I thought I would fill you all in on what has been happening down here. I believe I left off talking about my first day talking about school. The past week I decided to take a week off from teaching because Wendy was back and ready to teach all of the classes. I felt really called to learn Spanish and became very worried when I realized that it was week three and I was still wondering what the heck was being said around me. I felt like I was wasting a great opportunity by not buckling down and studying my Spanish. In the week off I took from teaching I attended Professor Victor´s natural science classes. During these classes I would write down every single word that I didn´t know and at the end of three classes a day I would go back home to look up the definition and study them. This combined with doing the same while watching movies in Spanish and attending the Bible study every morning at the center at 8 I have obtained many new words that I am trying to learn. I have memorized about a hundred new ones and am working on about 60 more. I have cut them out of my notebook and turned them into tiny flashcards.

My day begins at 6:30 now and some days it is easy to get up while others are quite hard. The hot nights make it hard to fall asleep but not impossible. I have more time to read at night because turning off the lights and trying to sleep would be futile and that calms me down a good amount. Purpose Driven Life has been wonderfully challenging and each day I am excited to live for the glory of God. Every chapter of that book is thought provoking and life changing.  I am now going to talk about a couple of things that have really spoken to me. Ready?

One of them is that a relationship with God is much more than a master/servant relationship. God wants us to be a good friend to Him and He wants us to be one of His great friends. He wants us to exhibit qualities towards Him that are the same qualities we display to our close friends. The book talks about how many prophets from the Old testament would argue with God. They would be honest with Him and show their true feelings. They had the freedom to yell at God and ask Him why things were happening. God does not want us to be fake with Him and hide our true emotions from Him by not expressing them. I also enjoyed the chapters on worship and how everything we do can be considered worship to God. As long as we are praying for His will and act accordingly we can be worshipping Him. From driving a school bus full of kids to assessing risk management for large companies, wherever you are you can be worshipping God. The author also talks about how worship is not made for us to feel emotional. It is to praise the almighty, awesome and wonderful God who sent His only son to die for us so that we may have eternal life. Worship is not meant to bring tears to our eyes or feel His presence. One popular form of worship, through music and singing, is so many times regarded as ¨not so great today¨ or ¨really good, I couldn´t stop smiling¨ but this is not the way we should think about worshipping the creator of everything living and dead. I do not want to be selfish in worship anymore. I always thought it was weird when people would put their hands in the air while singing in church and it was hard for me not to judge them thinking that they were showing off to other people. I now get that they are just offering themselves and praising an all knowing and all powerful God regardless of how emotional they feel.  People are going to worship God in a thousand different ways, and it is not in my ability to say what pleases and what doesn’t please God except for what the Bible has said about it.

I am obviously not using any scripture to back this up, but the book thoroughly supports these claims with scripture and makes them much more clear than I could ever hope to.  I mentioned judgment earlier and that is another chapter in the book. It does a good job of saying that there will be denominations and people will follow things very strictly that others will not. The Bible clearly states this and it also says to not judge people on their denomination. There are over 21 denominations of Christianity in the Petén (the state I am in, in Guatemala). Some are very charismatic and others are very reserved. At some it would be faux paus for a women to wear anything but a dress and at others blue jeans and an affliction t-shirt are just fine. And yet, in 99% of the Churches here it would be absurd for someone to dress in shorts. The extent to what makes these churches different is so insignificant compared to what unites them. The Ochaeta´s try to go to different churches as to not seem like they belong to one denomination because if they did, the clinics they put on would have very small turnouts due to the discrimination.  They put on a clinic for special needs training a week ago and it went swimmingly. I was not there because I was teaching English, but they said that (I might be ten or twenty off) 130 people came who were all members of one of the 21 denominations here in Petén and many of them were the wives of the pastors of those churches.

Last week was a lot of fun because I got to hang out a lot with Jessie and Franklin. Jessie is home from college because he had to have his appendix taken out. The hospital here is very small and laden with shotgun carrying guards. Barbed wire, mango vendors and foliage surround the compound which is home to five or six scattered buildings. I didn´t enter the hospitals, so I won´t tell you what they are like. I really didn´t want to go into the hospital because I am sure it would have been depressing. Instead, me and Franklin brought some food to Ismael and Orfa from a local eatery, dropped it off with them and went to our appointment with Ovidio to work out. On top of hanging out with Jessie and Franklin, I also got to hang out with their very cute and spunky 4 year old cousin Francisco. He was a blast and was at the house from Thursday to Saturday and was gone by the time I got back from the Ochaeta´s on Monday morning. Jessie, Franklin and I have played two rounds of their version of Monopoly, which highlights the states of Guatemala. The board is a little different, but the rules are the same. They had not played it yet so it was my responsibility to teach them the rules and then sweep the floor with them using my superior knowledge of the game. It reminded me of the nights staying up late at our good friends, the Kochs, house in Wisconsin being too young to fully understand the rules. Except this time I was more prepared and excited to play. It was very hard to explain the idea of mortgaging properties when they had to pay me thousands of dollars from landing on my orange properties. I´m sounding like a bully, but we had fun and now they don´t want to not play it.

I have been trying to seek God in every decision I make and there have been a few instances where I have really had strong urges to do and not do certain things. At the risk of sounding insane to those who don´t believe in the God and Christ that I do and even to those who do, I will now explain. I have been praying throughout my days asking for guidance in everything from what I should eat to when I should get up to what I should read next or if I should start studying my words. I get strong urges to do things like read my Bible or study and even at times wake up. One morning last week I woke up about ten minutes before my alarm on my phone went off at about 6:20. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep but kept repeating to myself in my head, no, you need to get up now. I prayed whether or not I needed to get up right then and could not finish the prayer because I just kept thinking get up, get up. I ignored this even though I could knew it was something different and laid awake in my bed until my alarm went off. I went through my daily routine of reading some Bible, eating breakfast and brushing my teeth, but felt a little guilty for not getting up through all of it.  I went to the bathroom and when I was getting out I noticed that my host family was about to leave. I saw them outside and said goodbye to them. I assumed Jessie was still in the house since he has nothing to do in the mornings so I was not bugged that they left the guard dog in the front. I normally would be and would ask them to lock him up in case I want to leave the house, but did not because Jessie could have just done it. I got on my clothes and five minutes later was ready to leave for the center for the Bible study. I looked around the house for Jessie when he realized that he was not in the house.  If I would have been ready 5 minutes earlier I would have left when the rest of the family did and would have been able to go to the center, but because the dog was not locked up, I couldn´t leave the house.  I disobeyed and order to get up and the consequences were obvious. The next day I learned that Ovi led that bible study (it is usually his buddy that works with him) and I could tell that he was bummed out that I wasn´t there. My selfishness led to Ovi being hurt.

 Another example is that I was hungry one afternoon and went into the kitchen to get a mango to eat it. I had the mango in my hand and I thought to myself, ¨Don’t eat it.¨ I thought, okay God, why would you not want me to eat this? It is healthy and delicious and I am hungry and will fulfill my hunger until dinner. I put the mango down reluctantly and went back outside to read. A couple of minutes later Franklin came back with a bag of chocolate covered mangos for everyone in the house including myself. I am sure that it would have disappointed Franklin to see me already eating a mango when he returned. I thanked God for telling me not to eat it and thoroughly enjoyed the chocolate covered one.

I have acted on some other impulses that I feel have been from God and I am much happier when I do. I know that this will not last for long and I know that there will be times when God feels absolutely absent in my life (he won´t be, but I will feel as if he is). I know that both of these situations are and will be tests of my character and want to take advantage of the time I have feeling God´s presence.

This is another reality of a Christian walk that I have learned through the Purpose Driven Life.  And I am glad that I brought this up because there is one more that was really convicting. I have been very lazy when it comes to keeping my Christian brothers and sisters accountable for their actions. This does not mean yelling at them or being rude, but it means me caring enough about our relationship and their relationship with God to bring up areas in their life that hurts both of those relationships. I have probably not done this because it would have made me feel hypocritical because I was participating in many of the same things that my family in Christ were participating in. Why do we as believers not exercise our freedom to keep others accountable for their actions? We are a family. We need to talk to eachother and bring up stuff that is unbiblical. One thing that I did was ignore the fact that God hates it when we get drunk. I  ignored that and willingly became drunk once in a while to have a good time or be more comfortable. If I was reading this blog three months ago I would be making fun of me and saying that I was having some grand Guatemala experience that I would soon go back to my same self a couple of months from returning. I don´t want that to happen and know that while drinking alcohol is biblically okay, God really does find it disgusting when we become drunk.  So, when I get back to the states I will be trying to live a righteous life and will strive to have fellowship with a core of believers. I´m still fun, ridiculous Keaton who enjoys blurring the lines of ¨too soon¨-ness, but I want to be using my God given personality to reflect his love and awesome power.

This past weekend I went up to the Ochaeta´s house and it was very relaxing and fun. Their air conditioning is greatly appreciated as is Derida´s wonderful cooking. One of my favorite things that she makes is a Mediterranean fruit and veggie dish. Ovi was studying hard for an oral exam that he took this Monday (and passed WOO!), so I did not see a lot of him. I played a healthy amount of Wii Resort Sports with Albana and she destroyed me in most of them. It never feels good to get beat by a pre-teen girl in anything. I later accidentally punched her in the mouth while we were playing in a very clean and refreshing community pool on Sunday. The pool is in an area where there are many plots of land one of which is owned by their friend who is a dentist in Flores. She drove Albana and I down to the pool where we enjoyed Coca-Colas, swung in hammocks and played with a football in the pool. It was a blast and was thoroughly worn out by the time we got to church. I prayed that I would understand it and I understood a good amount of it. I cannot, however, tell you what it was about now. When we got back to the  Ochaeta´s house Ovi and I watched the beginning of a PBS documentary on WWII that he has on DVD.

Ovi likes the history of wars a lot and wants very badly to become a pilot. He has many thousands of hours logged in his flight simulator and about an hour in an actual plane. The actual plane belongs to a friend of his who took him up and let him fly. He says that maybe one day he will be called to pursue his license, but does not have the money or calling to do so now.  Am I allowed to go back and talk about the DVD even though it is a new paragraph? I think I will. It was really interesting and we watched a good amount of it. After skyping Katelyn I went to bed. I am sleeping downstairs on a mattress in their living room area because the sound of rats in the upstairs attic keeps me up at night. It was very comfortable and I slept well.

Today I skipped attending Victor´s class to go to a different hospital that Ovi and the boys at the center will be building cabinets and work tables for. It is called Hospital Shalom and is a Christian ministry. There were guards at the front of the hospital and I learned later that this was strange for this particular hospital. They had a patient right now that had rolled his tractor while cutting the grass of his employer. He had torn his shoulder badly and needed surgery and also lost the lives of his wife and child who were sitting on the tractor with him. He was being charged for homicide and the guards were there to make sure he would stay in the hospital. I thought that that was one of the saddest stories I had heard. Ovi took measurements for everything and he dropped me off at the Martinez´house. The Martinez´are the actual last name of my host family. Guerra is the maiden name of Orfa and Martinez is the last name of Ismael. I took a nap, had some lunch, read and went back to the center to workout with Ovi. When I got back to the house I helped Orfa with her statistics homework . It is fun relearning it and challenging to explain it, but I enjoy it. I am now sitting at the computer while the Martinez´are at  Orfa´s sisters house. I was invited but figured I would stay back and write. It has taken me a solid two and a half hours to get this all out and there is more to write but will leave it for next time. Reminder-Tuk Tuks and fumigation.

Jesus Christ, thank you for listening to our Father in heaven and giving up your life to free me of my sin. I know that You had every power to take yourself off of that cross and leave that terrible blood-letting ritual, but instead You endured. Help me to have Your strength when I am wrestling with the orders of God. You said ¨My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?¨I know that at that point you could not feel the presence of your Father. I admire Your love and long to understand how you got through that pain. I pray, dear God, that you would not make Yourself feel distant from me. I pray that You would keep whispering in my ear and stay close, but I know that you like to make yourself feel distant to us to test and judge our character. I know that there is no obstacle that You will put in my way that You have not given me the tools to get over. I pray that I can remember this in times of trouble. I praise You Oh God because of Your absolute might and creativity. I pray that You would bless me with the wisdom that comes from You and thank You for calling me to an eternity spent with you. I humbly come to Your feet and commit myself to loving Your people and following Your word. I love You my Lord and pray that the people I come in contact with would experience that love and acceptance. Thank you Jesus.

Amen

EDIT:  I wrote this post on Microsoft word because Orfa has the mobile internet right now. I finished writing and went to study. I felt the spirit telling me not to study so I decided to read my Bible. I started reading where I had left off in 2 corintheans but could not concentrate. I asked God what was up and told him that I guess I should read Isaiah, the book of the Bible that I am studying. I then loudly thought ¨Read James.¨ I thought, “Are you kidding me?” Why James?” I prayed to make sure that He wanted me to read James and I felt pretty positive of it. I even tested it and thought “read Galatians” on purpose. But I prayed and was told that it was James for sure. I wanted to know why and thought I was smart by asking “Which James, aren´t there like three?”  While looking for James I realized that there was only one and that there were three Johns.  So, I started reading it and immediately I knew why God wanted me too. There are a plethora of verses in James that relate to what I have said in this post. I am now going to write everything that I underlined, some of which pertains to what I wrote and some that does not. I put the stuff that does not pertain at the end:

1:2-4 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

1:5-6 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach…But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

1:9-10a  But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position: and the rich man is glory in his humiliation.

1:13-14 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be temted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.

1:19-20 But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God

1:22 But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

1:25-26 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man´s religion is worthless.

1:27b: and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

2:8b-9: …“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.

2:14a What use is it my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works?

2:17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.

2:18b I will show you my faith by my works.” You believe that God is one. You do well, the demons also believe, and shudder.

2:20b: faith without works is useless

2:22b: as a result of the works, faith was perfected.

2:23b: and he was called the friend of God.

2:26b: faith without works is dead.

3:2b if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man

      Me:   I know that there are things that I have written that might not be accurate, but I believe now that they are. This verse gives me freedom to say those things I feel.

3:5: So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

3:6: .. and the tongue is a fire…which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life…

3:8-9a: But no one can tame the tongue, it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father and with it we curse men.

3:12: Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh

3:13b: Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy. And the seen whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

4:2 You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives that you may spend it on your pleasures.

4:4b: Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

4:6b: “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

4:8a: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

 Me:       This is comforting when it comes to God testing us by feeling distant. It is a reminder that just because he feels distant to us, does not mean he is distant.

4:10: Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and he will exalt you.

4:12b: but who are you who judge your neighbor?

                Me: There are a lot of these that talk about judging, we really are nobody to judge.

4:14b-15a: You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills,…

                Me: Why waste our lives trying to please anyone but God. Pleasing others in a holy way is pleasing God.

4:17: Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

                Me: I do this all the time, even when I see the awesome results of following his voice.

5:6: You have condemned and put to death the righteous man, he does not resist you.

                Me: This is why we need fellowship, it is so hard to resist sin.

5:8b-9a: strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. Do not complain, brethren, against one another…

                Me: We are a family, how is complaining useful in any situation?

5:11b: You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord´s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.

                Me: So crazy that I was talking about Job and then God leads me to this verse on him. Job cried out to God and, because of his humility, God was faithful to Job

5:16: Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.

5:17-19: Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.

5:19: My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sin.

                Me: It should be our joy to turn people from sin. But instead, we are afraid that it might hurt someone’s feelings by confronting them. That is simply Satan deceiving us.

Does not really deal with what I wrote in the post:

1:11b So too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.

1:17a Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above

2:5 did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?

2:16b and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?

3:1: Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment.

5:12b: but your yes is to be yes and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgement.

5:14b: anointing him with oil in the name of the lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick

                Me: This reminds me that I have a really bad cough that I have had for like two weeks, so pray that the sucker goes away. Thanks!